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Haven't sent in a joke yet? Do it NOW! June winners will receive either Mr. Twisty Fun and Joke
Kit, a Mr. Snappy Magic Set or a mystery surprise worth up to $45.00!
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MyJoke: What did the cows
Brother,Daniel,say to him in the bed?
Answer:Moooooove Over!!
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Submitted by: Kate Wilson on Thursday, November 23,
2000
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MyJoke:
Knock knock
Who's There
Old lady
old lady who
I didn't know you could yodle.
Get it: Old lady who
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| Submitted by: Julie Daly on Friday, November 24,
2000 |
MyJoke: One day a mother tries to wake her son up by saying, "Get up son or you
are going to be late for school." But the son says that he does not want to go to
school. So his mother asked him to give to reasons for him not wanting to go to school. So
the son said "Firstly because it's too early in the morning and secondly I don't like
school." Then the mother said that's no reasons for not going to school. So the son
asks his mother to give him to reasons according to her why he should go to school. The
mother said "Firstly because you are 52 years old and secondly you are the Principal
of the school."
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| Submitted by: Rukhshad (July 30, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
One day there was a
couple sitting at a table discussing life. The lady asks to the man if I die before you
will you re-marry? The man replies yes. Will you live in the same neighbourhood and house?
Yes, because it's a nice neighbourhood and a very nice house. Will you sleep in the same
bed? Yes because it's a very comfortable mattress. Will you let her use MY golf clubs? No
because she is left handed! |
| Submitted by: Josh M. (July 29, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
What did the mayo
say to the refrigerator? |
| A. Close the door, I'm dressing! |
| Submitted by: Jennie Harrington (July 29,
1999) |
| MyJoke:
What are hundreds
and thousands? |
| A. Smarty poos! |
| Submitted by: Pam (July 23, 1999) |
MyJoke:
Knock, Knock
"Who's there?"
Hatch:
"Hatchwho"
Gee, I didn't mean to make you sneeze! |
| Submitted by: Corch Campbell (July 22, 1999) |
| MyJoke: How did the gum cross the road?
|
| A. It was stuck to the chicken's foot! |
| Submitted by: Richard S. (July 22, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
What do you call
lice on a bald guys head? |
| A. Homeless! |
| Submitted by: Ashton Burge (July 22, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
The difference
between a coyote and a flea: One howls on the prairie, the other prowls on the hairy.
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| Submitted by: Alexis Parker (July 20, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
A man (I'll call him
Bob) who was going to Hawaii for a dream vacation had to stop by a little store on the
edge of town by a river to get his ticket. He drove up and went inside. The man at the
counter asked for three hundred dollars for the ticket. Bob handed him the money and the
man at the counter promptly pulled out a club and knocked him out. When Bob woke up, he
was tied to a log and floating down a river. Beside him was another man who had also been
knocked out. Bob turns to the other man and says, "Do they serve food on this
trip?" The other man replies, "They didn't last year!"
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| Submitted by: Alexis Parker (July 20, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
Why did the cookie
go to the doctor? |
| A. because he felt crummy! |
| Submitted by: Jose Gonzalez (July 18, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
Why did the dinosaur
cross the road? |
| A. because the chickens weren't involved! |
| Submitted by: Genny Gonzalez (July 18, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
If a fly has no wings, do you call him a walk? |
| Submitted by: Jessica Joy (July 13, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
One day I saw a girl
that I liked so I didn't waste any time. I went and sat down next to her and said,
"What's your name?" She grawled like tony the tiger. I said "Hold up, wait
a minute, my names anwar carroll not frosted flakes!" |
| Submitted by: Anwar Carroll (July 10, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
My dog sparkey always enjoyed hotdogs untill one day he heard my dad say, "Honey, how
about I grill us a couple dogs for dinner tonight?" |
| Submitted by: Hannah (July 10, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
What has arms and
legs but no head? |
| A. A chair! |
| Submitted by: Collier Harris (July 9, 1999) |
MyJoke:
If you are American when you go in the bathroom and you are American when you come out of
the bathroom.
What are you when your in the bathroom? |
| A. European! |
| Submitted by: Lucy Branch (July 1, 1999) |
MyJoke:
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Atch,
Atch who?
Bless you!
(get it, atchhoooo!) |
| Submitted by: Jostlyn Walton (July 3, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
What can you catch
the easiest when your are ice fishing? |
| A. A cold! |
| Submitted by: Lucy Branch (July 1, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
What did the Alien
say to the Gardener? |
| A. Take me to your weeder! |
| Submitted by: Lucy Branch (July 1, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
What do you call a dog on a beach? |
| A. A hot dog! |
| Submitted by: Heather Cooper (June 30, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
I was on my way to school one morning, when I saw an ambulance driving in front of me.
Suddenly it pulled over and threw out a cooler, then it drove off. I hurried up to the
cooler and looked in side and found some toes. I didnt have time to take them to the
hospital, so I called a TOE truck. |
| Submitted by: Brandie La Marca (June 25, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
What do you get if
you cross an elephant and a rino? |
| A. An elephino! |
| Submitted by: Sara (June 13, 1999) |
MyJoke:
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Why are you crying?
|
| Submitted by: Sean Walsh (June 12, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
How do you make a tissue dance? |
| A. Put a little boogie in it! |
| Submitted by: Chelsea Hogan (June 8, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
What kind of cheese is not yours? |
| A. Nach-yo cheese! |
| Submitted by: Brianna Gassman (June 1, 1999) |
MyJoke:
John: Know what's the worlds worst puss to have all over you?
Jane: No
John: An Octopus |
| Submitted by: Austin (June 1, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
What did the math book say to the doctor? |
| A. I have a lot of problems! |
| Submitted by: Ryan Dillon (June 1, 1999) |
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MyJoke:
Woman: Yuck! This
coffee is gross! It tastes like dirt!
Waitress: It should, it was ground this morning! |
| Submitted by: Sonia Vaillant (May 24, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
What did the ape say when his sister had a baby? |
| A. Well I'll be a monkeys uncle! |
| Submitted by: Phil Ochs (May 13, 1999)
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MyJoke:
Knock, Knock.
Who's there.
Pickon.
Pickon who.
Pickon someone your own size. |
| Submitted by: Michael L. (May 9, 1999) |
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| MyJoke:
A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a pop.The bartender says, "We don't serve your
kind here." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a
fungi (fun-guy)." |
| Submitted by: Conor E. (April 22, 1999) |
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| MyJoke:
What kind of dog tells the best time?? |
| A.A
Watch dog |
| Submitted by: Ryan and Megan LaFleche (May 3,
1999) |
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| MyJoke:
What do frogs drink
at parties? |
| A. Croak-A-Cola!
|
| Submitted by: Megan (April 11, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
What do you call a
person with no brains? |
| A. A
no brainer! |
| Submitted by: Chelsey (April 11, 1999) |
MyJoke:
Why did the guy
throw a clock out the window?
|
| A. Because
he wanted to see time fly! |
| Submitted by: Chelsey (April 11, 1999) |
MyJoke:
Why did the turkey
cross the road?
|
| A. Because
the chicken was on vacation! |
| Submitted by: Michael Perkins (April 9, 1999) |
MyJoke:
Knock-Knock
Who's there?
Duane
Duane who?
Shut the window, Duane's coming in!
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| Submitted by: Bethany Meyers (April 7, 1999) |
MyJoke:
Why do birds fly
south?
|
| A. Because
it is too far to walk! |
| Submitted by: Rhiannon (April 7, 1999) |
MyJoke:
2 cows were at a meadow and 1 cow said: boy I really have to go to the bathroom .
The other cow said you can't. Why not asked the 1st cow?
Because you have no trousers said the 2nd cow.
What does that have to do with it? said the 1st cow.I can still go at the farm
room.
Get it bathmooooooom!
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| Submitted by: Kristen (March 29, 1999) |
MyJoke:
Two guys walk into a bar...The Third one ducks.
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| Submitted by: Jeremy Birk (March 30, 1999) |
MyJoke: Why did the
chicken cross the playground?
MARCH WIiNNER!!! |
| A. To get to the other slide! |
| Submitted
by: Katelyn D (March
28, 1999) |
MyJoke:
What's made of
leather and has laces and wings?
|
| A. A
shoe fly! |
| Submitted by: Julie D (March 28, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
A boy ran into a crowded bank and yelled,"Has anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar
bills with a rubber band tied around it?" Several people answered, "Yes, I did! It's
mine!"
"Wel," replied the boy, "I just found the rubber band."
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| Submitted by: Cheryl Lim Xin Ying (March 27, 1999) |
MyJoke:
What did the chicken say when he saw (through a window) a man making eggs?
|
| A. What
a crazy and mixed up kid! |
| Submitted by: Ashley Sangster (March 23, 1999) |
MyJoke:
Why did the baby write a letter B on his knee?
|
| A. Because
he wanted to be a beanie (B-knee) baby. |
| Submitted by: William Barrios (March 22, 1999)
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MyJoke:
Why did the boy throw butter out of the window?
|
| A. He
wanted to see a butterfly! |
| Submitted by: Becky Lombard (March 15, 1999)
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MyJoke:
If two people were
driving down the road at 82 miles per hour,where would they meet?
|
| A. In
jail! |
| Submitted by: Christina Lombard (March 15,
1999) |
| MyJoke:
What did the ocean say to the beach? |
| A. Nothing
it just waved. |
| Submitted by: Daniel Langley (March 10, 1999)
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| MyJoke:
The head counselor gathered all the campers together. To get their attention, the
counselor called out,"Order! Order!" In a flash, someone shouted
out,"Hamburger, Coke, and French fries! |
| Submitted by: Maryem Ibrahim (March 9, 1999)
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Camper:
Look at that bunch of cows.
Farmer: Not bunch, herd.
Camper: Heard what?
Farmer: Of cows.
Camper: Sure I've heard of cows.
Farmer: No,I mean a cowherd.
Camper: So, what? I have no secrets from cows! |
| Submitted by: Maryem Ashraf Ibrahim (March 9,
1999) |
| MyJoke:
Why did the turtle cross the highway? |
| A. To get to the shell station!
|
| Submitted by: Easton Oreman (March 9,
1999) |
| MyJoke:
Why did the
boy throw peanut butter in the ocean? |
| A. He wanted to feed the jellyfish!
|
| Submitted by: Chris (March 7, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
What Is A Trees' Favorite Soda? |
| A. Rootbeer! |
| Submitted by: Julie D (March 1, 1999) |
February Jokes
| MyJoke: What Easter flower grows between your nose and chin?? WINNER!!! |
| A. Tulips!
|
| Submitted
by: Craig &
Kalee Neumann (February 27, 1999) |
| MyJoke:
What kind of bird is always sad? |
| A. A Blue Bird! |
| Submitted by: Shelby Switzer (February 24,
1999) |
| MyJoke:
What did the dentist say to the golfer? |
| A. You have a hole in one!! |
| Submitted by: Ryan Loggins (February 23, 1999)
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| MyJoke:
Are you A.F.B.? |
| A. Wow! Your America's Funiest
Balloon |
| Submitted by: Megan Caggianelli (February 22,
1999) |
| MyJoke:
If Dr. Seuss
were a Technical Writer:
Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say.
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort.
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort.
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash.
Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this?
What a shame sir!
We'll find you another game, sir!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on the mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of Gauss,
So your icons in the windows are so wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the computer's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC.
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom! |
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| Submitted by: Ashleigh Bennett (February 21,
1999) |
| MyJoke:
What kind of coffee did the titanic sell? |
| A. Sunkin coffee
|
| Submitted by: Bobby
Wozniak (
February 10, 1999) |
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